Stumbling Into Grace Journal Entry 1-Fear

So, today I’ve been thinking about what I’m really afraid of, Jesus, and…

I’ve never really been scared of much. I don’t care for spiders or crickets, but I wouldn’t categorize those as fears. Ok, I’ll give you sharks as something I consider scary, but I was way too young when I saw Jaws. Actually I was trying to read when my brothers and second cousins were watching it, but that music sure pulled me in! I know, it’s in my head now too! Creepy!

However, now to answer the question seriously! I have two – loneliness and anger.

First, I’m afraid of not making any friends here. Jesus, You know me and how to meet my desire for friendship, so I will continue to be friendly to all and to be open for opportunities that You provide. Even if I can bless others for a short season, I am open even though it’s hard to continually let people go. However, I don’t need to waste this wilderness time. Help me to see You as my everything instead of focusing on what I don’t have at this moment.

Secondly, I’m afraid of scarring my kids’ emotionally by my anger. Jesus, I need to daily dedicate me, my kids, and our time together to You. Help me to also daily/hourly/minute by minute crucify my flesh, so I can be filled with the Holy Spirit and His power. Instead of becoming irritated, annoyed or angry easily, I need to be growing in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galations 5:19-23).

Jesus, In both of these areas I need to trust You. Thank You for loving me and never giving up on me! I love You – my Lord, my Redeemer, my Friend!

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.”

Isaiah 43:1-4 (from The Message)

Read this…

trust your heart?

by Robin Lee Hatcher

How often do we hear someone use that phrase, “Trust your heart”? Lots. When someone isn’t sure what to do, some good intentioned friend says to them, “Well, just trust your heart.” Except, that isn’t such good advice.

But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit.

The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I know! I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve. (Jeremiah 17:7-10)

My human heart wants what it wants, and often what it wants isn’t what the Lord wants for me. I have to bring myself back again and again to listening to His voice. Too often I’m guilty of doing what my heart wants and then afterward checking to see what the Lord thought of it. This is particularly true in my spending habits. I fall victim to the “wants” in life. Technology is a real weakness for me. I love it. Hey, it keeps my mind active which is supposed to keep my brain working well into old age. Right? (Oh, man. Can I justify or what!?)

My goal is to get to the place where I remember to pray about the tiniest things and/or the mundane things in my life first. Lord, I think I need a new water heater. Please guide me. Amen. No, that isn’t exciting, but it should still be prayed about. I don’t want to be deceived by my willful human heart. I want to know my Lord’s heart for me and follow it.

The Cure for Anxiety

I need to read these verses more often!!

God, help us to remember that You know what we need.  We must continually seek You first, then everything else will be provided.  Also, we don’t need to worry about tomorrow!  (Can we fix ANYTHING by worrying?!)  God, no matter what’s going on in our lives, help us to allow Your peace to reign!

Matthew 6:25-34 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

The Cure for Anxiety25″This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing?  26Look at the birds of the sky: they don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?  27Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by worrying? 28And why do you worry about clothes? Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don’t labor or spin thread. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! 30If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t He do much more for you—you of little faith?  31So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.  34Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.;


How many of us long for our children to immediately obey?!  (The phrase “immediately obey” is kind of redundant, because is there really another way to obey?)

Anyway, I was reading Matthew 4-5 and “immediately” kept jumping out at me.  It is talking about when Jesus called some of the Disciples.  These are the same Disciples that we seem to look down on, because they just didn’t understand things that seem so obvious to us!?! =}  However, let’s look at what it says in chapter 4.  These guys were fishing and Jesus walks up and says, “Follow me.”  Then “Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.”  The next time Jesus “called them” and “immediately they left the boat and their father and followed Him.”  Wow!  Now, the Disciples may of have some “blonde moments,” but who hasn’t.  Also, it’s a lot easier to see more clearly when we’re looking back.  What’s the quote about hindsight?  (I don’t remember, but it would have fit great here!!)

Well, what I took a way from this is that God desires my immediate obedience just like I desire it from my children.  I want to respond immediately like the Disciples did, don’t you?!!

Prayers for today…

I haven’t been staying in touch with my Lord who’s also my Friend and my Savior!  Wow!  If He’s that important than you wouldn’t think I would have any problem making Him the priority of my life!?!  Oops…I guess it’s just my human nature, but every morning I get up and try it again.

My parents gave me The Busy Mom’s Guide to Prayer by Lisa Whelchel. Each day we praise the Lord, then pray for our self, husband, children, personal influences, and reaching beyond (national issues and people).  She has a prayer focus, scripture inspiration, praying the word, and prayer prompt under each catergory.  This morning (Day 9 in the book) I am…

…praising God for being my Deliverer (I included the Scripture Inspiration with each of the catergories: But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinks upon me.  You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God.  Psalm 40:17)

…focusing on Confession and Repentance for my self (If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  For godly grief poduces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret.  1 John 1:9; 2 Corinthians 7:10)

…praying for my Husband, Matt’s Health (I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal.  Jeremiah 30:17)

…praying for my children’s (Abbye and Hannah) Schooling and Learning (All you children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.  Isaiah 54:13)

…praying for my In-laws (In you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.  Genesis 12:3)

…praying for The Military (The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord.  Proverbs 21:31)

Thank you, Jesus, for your love and help me to share it with those I see today!  I’ve got to hit the ground running now; the girls are waking up!!  Please bless our day and help us to use our time wisely so that we will accomplish what needs to be done.  Amen!