There’s a lot of talk and books about our purpose in life, but I’m still lost!
I’ve been the president of our church’s ladies group for the last two years, and before that I was the vice president for two years. I’m done in May, but I’m not sure if I want to be done!? I really want to be involved in the body of Christ and minister to others both inside and outside of the church. However, I’m not sure where I belong. I’ve done nursery, taught preschool Sunday school, helped with youth, taught math in high school…so I’ve had experience with different ages of kids. It’s not that I don’t like kids, but I just don’t think that’s where I fit in.
I think my place is ministering to ladies, but it’s hard when you’re young and most of the ladies who you’re suppose to be ministering to have known you for a while!! I’m 27, and I’m pretty sure my family going to our church when I was six. I was gone for four years for college, but it was still my home church. Maybe it’s just my imagination working overtime. However, I feel like they don’t see me as Sarah-the adult, but Sarah-the kid. This year has been difficult. I have a two year old and a nine month old. I am nursing Hannah, who’s the nine month old just in case you were wondering!! So, yes, it is harder for me to do some things than someone whose kids are older or someone who has an empty nest. However, that doesn’t mean I should be replaced or left out or my responsibility taken away! How can I do my job when someone else is trying to do it? I guess I could have stepped up and said something, but I didn’t. I thought, “Well, I’m a little irritated, but I guess that just means it’s less work for me.” Later, I realized that I was more irritated and hurt than I thought I was. If this is where I believe that God wanted me to be, than I needed to take care of my ministry. God wanted to use me, so I was placed in a position of authority. However, I failed! I’m not sure how I would have done it differently because the other person’s personality is very domineering. It’s not like I don’t like her, but I felt like she overstepped her position. I finish out my presidential term in May. I still will be involved in our ladies group, but I think there’s more!?
Well, this is a lot that I’ve spilled out. I think this was written more for me to get it out, so it may be confusing! The main point is that I really want to be involved, and I think that I belong in women’s ministry. However, I’m not sure what it looks like…maybe a small group? Also, I’m worried that I’ll get run over again. I never had a problem with that when I taught in high school dealing with freshman through seniors!! So, maybe it’s my view of myself. Maybe I still view myself, in relationship to these ladies that I’ve known for so long, as Sarah-the kid, not as Sarah-the adult?!